Power from pain is only a choice away. Simple but not easy.
Everyone that is reading this blog is familiar with pain of some sort. Regardless of how little or how much, it is not our job to judge someone else's pain, for pain is pain, and it is received and felt differently by everyone. The decision we make when we encounter pain, the reaction we have to it, how we use these feelings, are the questions we need to be asking ourselves. For something that it inevitably going to happen, it would be wise for us to create a healthy way to feel it, understand it, accept it and use it.
To Feel
When we encounter pain, it is part of our human nature to want to turn away from it. And yes, if we had the choice, it would be smart to stay away from it. If only life was so simple, for all we know, pain is closing in on us right now. We can't always control what we feel, what we encounter and how the environment, society and others will affect us. When pain does arise, it is very easy for us to fall back and avoid. We don't yet have the courage to let ourselves feel it, to understand it. While we avoid, we also accumulate meaning the pain will stay inside of us. Anyone given the choice in a calm state would choose to let it go as quickly as possible, but not with pain. That's what pain does to us, it clouds over us, it takes over and chooses how we act instead of us making the decisions. If we continue to let it happen, pain will have a lot of power over us.
To allow ourselves to feel is the start of any healing process, it allows us to be aware of what is happening in reality, instead of living in a state of denial. A state where we think we are okay, but deep down, the pain is letting us know it is still there. The question is whether we want to live in a state of constant discreet pain or to have the strength to feel it deeply, and eventually have it leave. I hope we all end up working towards that strength to feel deeply, as it also enables empathy to arise, a tool that not only helps us understand, but helps the other to feel understood. That in itself can aid in healing with the presence of each other.
To Understand
As hard as it is going to be, I hope that we all learn to feel our pain fully for what it is, pain. If we want to turn pain to power, we must first understand it before we can use it. To understand, we need to feel. To truly understand why it hurts is to go within ourselves, to see what we don't want to see within ourselves, to see why this pain has risen. Understanding and accepting pain is one of the hardest things for us to do, but it is also the most liberating and freeing feeling we will gain. If we cut the leaves, the tree will still grow, take out the roots and the tree will die. If we have the courage to see the roots of pain, understand how it stems, we will give ourselves the power to create change. Once we've understood the roots of the pain, we have given ourselves a chance to accept it and remove it from our hearts.
To Accept
To accept the fact that there is so much outside our control, there is something greater than us, greater than human beings that is at play. To learn to surrender control, control we never had in the first place. To understand that all pain received is a lesson that we needed to learn and to understand that we really don't have control of what happens to us, but we do have control of how we react. To do all these things is one of the greatest revelations we will go through as human beings. To accept means to put yourself in peace and out of pain. To accept gives you a chance to let go of any resentment, for resentment is only a burden you carry, a weight only you hold. The choice is ours to let it go and breathe, be free, or to hold on to something that we never had control over.
If I were to ask anyone that isn't currently feeling pain, someone who is at peace with their minds, they would instantly say that letting go is the smart way to move as it would be foolish for us to bear a burden that we had no control in. Many of us will agree, but when pain comes, we still fall in the trap of holding on. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it a need for us to put blame on someone or something else? Is it our need to justify what happened and why it happened? Are we holding on because we want someone else to apologies or feel guilty for whatever happened? The answer is inside us if we dare to look. Once we know the answer, we will know that whatever reason it is, acceptance and letting go will be the cure.
To Use
Once pain is felt, understood and accepted, it can be used. By now things have gotten easier, the hardest hill to climb has been conquered. The pain is accepted and we have a clear mind and a peaceful heart. We have put ourselves in a state where we can see clearly. All pain has a lesson that is hiding, some are quickly noticed and some take a little more time. However long, I hope we live with clarity in hopes to learn the lesson given to us by our pain. The lesson may not be what we expect, we may not realise it the way we thought we would, but it is there and it is waiting for us. Once we received it, we will truly understand that it was always a blessing in disguise. It is up to us to see that from the start.
Everyone needs to bear their own share of sorrow. It's okay, we are all learning, we are all trying and that's what makes life meaningful. It's an adventure, we win some we lose some, but we will never appreciate the wins if we don't lose. From those losses we learn. We learn about ourselves, we learn about others, we learn how to change and we learn how to evolve. We all know this deep down. What we need to realise is that thinking and doing are different, knowing and applying are different. We all know the former, but the latter takes time. But I am willing to go through this journey with you all, to slowly chip away and heal day to day.
It's scary but exciting at the same time, the best movie we will ever watch, the best book we will ever read is the story of our lives. May we all have the courage and strength to work towards a happy ending together.